Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Ever wondered how to call someone stupid in a smart way so that you don’t step on any toes? We’ve all been there, faced with moments where roasting someone’s intellect seems like the only plausible response. But let’s be honest, calling someone outright stupid won’t make you the life of the party.
What you need are some intelligent insults—the smart way to suggest someone might need an intellectual boost. We’re not advocating for mean-spiritedness, but some situations demand hilarious comebacks and great insults. But make sure to balance your fancy insults with wit and charm so they don’t cause any emotional bruises.
A Reddit user u/lientubay asked the world, “What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?” Over 60,000 people had apparently pondered the same question, and the thread skyrocketed. People from all around the world shared various ways of how to insult someone politely by using both modern ingenuity and old folk proverbs.
So finally, instead of awkwardly using the same insult over and over again, like “so is your face,” you’ll have a list of things to say when encountering a stupid person. What a tough world for us—intelligent people—this is. Thanks for making our life bearable, Reddit!
Now, scroll down below to learn how to tell someone they’re dumb in a smart way. Got any intelligent insults of your own? Share them with us in the comments.
More Info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Brains on the run, as always
In russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".
RELATED:
What Are Some Idioms for Calling Someone Dumb?
Every once in a while, someone has a less-than-genius moment. These idioms are designed for those times when you want to nudge someone’s intellect with a wink rather than calling them “dumb” and hurting their feelings.
There are several playful expressions around the world that people often use as funny ways to call someone stupid. Hence, if you’re seeking fancy ways to call someone dumb, here are some of our favorites:
- Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
- One sandwich short of a picnic.
- A few cards short of a full deck.
- All foam, no beer.
However, there are more fancy words and ‘nicer’ ways to say stupid:
- Dunderheaded
- Anserine
- Addlepated
- Blinkard
- Obtuse
- Nescient
And, of course, let’s not forget the word ‘unintelligent,’ which might be the only politically correct word for stupid! These intelligent insults will let you question someone’s brainpower without ruffling feathers. But make sure to use them only with friends who appreciate a bit of humor.
#4
Brain Cells Throwing Shade
One of my personal favorites:
"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."
#5
Master of Following Directions (Not)
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
#6
Classic savage truth right there
Ahh yes, “it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”. A classic.
How Do You Tell Someone Off in a Classy Way?
Ok, now let’s look at it from another perspective. What if you are at the receiving end of these insults? This is your time to show that you indeed have a high IQ by giving a sassy retort to someone who insults you.
Instead of going full-blown confrontational, opt for a more refined approach that gets your point across. With the right words, you can crush your opponents with some of the best insults.
To stay classy, highlight their positive qualities before adding your deprecating remark. Or you could ask them to repeat and explain the insult, saying you didn’t understand it. This will encourage reflection.
Remember, timing is everything if you want to appear confident and classy with your clever comebacks. Flip the script of the original comment and watch your opponent turn red. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and let your body language convey the same confidence as your words.
We leave you with the best insult we’ve ever heard. It’s from the TV show Madmen.
Michael Ginsberg: “I feel sorry for you.”
Don Draper: “I don’t think of you at all.”
Mic drop!
Now, continue scrolling below to brush up on funny ways to call someone stupid.
#7
Lucky You Had the Umbrella
In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella"
#8
Guess some folks will always win
Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
#10
Well, That Escalated Quickly
I think I saw this one here previously “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”.
#16
Bet you’re not as smart as you think
If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are.
#20
Breathing guilt in full bloom
He needs to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he's wasting
#21
I Can’t Fix Your Brain Too
I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you.
#22
When School Was Optional, Apparently
"I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."
-Captain Malcom Reynolds
#24
No one got the joke but me
Saw two coworkers going about a task in the worst way I could imagine. I said "I believe if there was a harder way to do that you two would find it." They didn't get it.
#25
That insult hit different
Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".
#26
This Is Why They’re Too Polite
You could blow in their ear and they would say thanks for the refill.
#29
Knowledge Overload Incoming
"Well pardon me, ma'am but what you don't know could fill a warehouse." Courtesy of Bart Simpson.
#30
Low-Key Blowing Minds Here
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
#32
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
#33
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
On a Canadian jobsite:
Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.
#34
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
Bless your heart is a common southern subtle slap.
#35
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
Your train of thought is a replacement bus service, isn't it?
#36
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
Not the brightest crayon in the box. There are 2 arabic ones that I abuse.... (اذكى اخواته) smartest of his siblings. )وقت ما وزعو الغباء عدى مرتين When stupidity was distributed, he came back for seconds.... I freaking love them
#37
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
They would be out of their depth in a parking lot puddle
#38
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
A little too much chlorine in your gene pool.
#39
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
In French we sometime say "he/she doesn't have electricity at every floor".
#41
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
lmao I had a teacher that would always say 'keep them guessing, don't open your mouth and prove them right'.
#42
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
People who would "forget to breathe if their bodies didn't do it for them"
#43
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
I like letterkennys “you’re just spare parts, aren’t ya bud”.
#44
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
My grampa told me a few times "son you need lemons to make lemonade and you ain't got no lemons". I laugh every time.
#46
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
"You're a brick short of a sandwich" or "Are you professional idiot, or just a gifted amateur?"
#47
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
I wouldn't trust you to sit the right way on the toilet seat! From Rowan Atkinson Live
#48
Euphemisms-Telling-People-They-Are-Stupid-Reddit
About as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
What do you think ?
judy baker 4 years ago
I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 4 years ago
My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
judy baker 4 years ago
I like George Carlin's quote : Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Saara-Elina Kaukiainen 4 years ago
My personal fav: I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.
Related on Bored Panda
