DARK SECRETS: Funny kids dumb | Vintage Vibes

There are an estimated two billion children in the world right now, ages zero to 14; each one more imaginative than the last. It’s safe to assume that the number of adults having to look after them is even higher, especially as the little ones tend to let their imagination run wild - be it with crayons on the kitchen walls or with markers on their little brother.

Using walls as a canvas is only one of the many possible ways kids tend to cause havoc around the house; but it is a popular one, nevertheless. A survey in the UK found that the most common types of damage kids cause in their homes are spilling food and drink on the carpets or smashing kitchenware, The Mirror reports. The two are followed by said creative outbursts on the walls, as well as breaking vases, tearing wallpaper apart, and jumping on beds until they break, among other things, of course.

According to the Mirror, the collective effort of children in Britain adds up to a staggering £3.5 billion pounds (roughly $4.4 billion US dollars) worth of damage to homes throughout their childhood, with three-year-olds being the most expensive group.

While it gets better when they become older (around 10 years of age is reportedly a somewhat calmer time in regards to damages), things tend to go downhill again right as kids become young adults - somewhere between 16 and 18 years of age.

Going back to the expenses caused by the most dangerous group - three-year-olds, statistics show that wallpapers (or paintwork) tend to take a hit the most often; however, they’re not the most expensive things that are damaged by the little hell raisers. Statistics reveal that the most costly damages caused by toddlers relate to damaged windows and appliances, as well as bookcases and shelving units.

Fixing constant damage can understandably take a toll on the parent both financially and emotionally. That’s why they might have to get creative themselves, and look for innovative ways to make sure their child is well-behaved or use white lies to paint them a picture of what might happen if they don’t listen. (No matter how old one is, being told that there’s a monster under the bed that might catch you if you’re not asleep by 10pm is uncomfortable, at best.)

Thinking about the things you were told—and believed—as a kid is quite amusing when you grow out of the tooth-fairy years. However, if you have your own children, you might turn to using such lies yourself, as many people before and after you did.

It’s safe to assume that quite a few parents have arguably told their children white lies for one reason or another; for instance, seeking to make such things like losing incisors, canines, premolars, and molars (or teeth, to put it simply) a tiny bit more magical.

A survey of adults in the UK found that the most common white lie told by parents is that carrots will help kids see in the dark, which was followed by stating that Santa knows if they’ve been bad or good and that screens can make their eyes square. In addition to all that, some parents have managed to convince their children that their noses will grow if they tell lies themselves.

Even with having to lie to your children about who takes their tooth from under the pillow or being forced to repeatedly clean walls, the majority of parents seem to love being a mom or a dad. According to Pew Research Center’s data from 2022, the majority of parents—roughly eight in ten of them—find their role enjoyable and rewarding most or all of the time.

For more laughs and giggles of a similar sort, continue scrolling the lists depicting life with children who simply don’t know how funny they are, which you can find here and here.