BIZARRE: Hilarious emails - What They Never Told You

Funny, bizarre, and slightly unhinged emails are usually amusing. Spam, on the other hand, is beyond annoying, and it ruins your day ever so slightly.

It’s one thing to get an email from someone politely sharing feedback, offering an insightful opinion, or asking for advice. It’s another thing entirely to have your inbox clogged up with unsolicited press releases from iffy companies and suspicious-looking partnership offers.

It’s not just us, though. Spam emails are a global problem.

According to Statista, as of December 2024, China and the United States were the countries with the highest number of spam emails sent within one day, worldwide, clocking in at a jaw-dropping 7.8 billion each.

Next in terms of spam email volume were India and Japan, with around 7.6 billion sent daily, followed by Canada (7.3 billion), France (7.2 billion), and Germany (7.1 billion).

The number of email users around the world grew from 3.9 billion to 4.4 billion between 2019 and 2024. It is predicted to reach a whopping 4.8 billion in 2027.

Some aspects of email etiquette can change over the years and vary from industry to industry and recipient to recipient. You wouldn’t email your boss, work clients, or recruiters the same way that you’d message your fellow university students, friends, or parents, for instance.

That being said, some things also remain constant. Like the need to put in a bit of effort to make sure that the recipient understands what you’re trying to tell them. So, re-read, edit, and proofread your email to check for potential typos, repetition, ambiguity, and weird shifts in tone.

It only makes sense. After all, you want your intended message to get through. And you want to leave a good first impression on whoever you’re communicating with.

Some email providers actually give you the option to unsend your message within the first few seconds after sending it out. It’s a lifesaver if you accidentally hit “send” before you are done writing or checking the message. And it also helps if you quickly spot a mistake you overlooked.

However, this function aside, there’s no taking your email back once it has reached someone else’s inbox.

So, you have to strike a balance between being attentive enough to check your email for consistency and also not obsessing about getting everything ‘perfectly’ right. It is, after all, just an email. And you’ll likely send thousands of them in your life.

Occasional mistakes are unavoidable. It helps to have a good sense of humor to help you embrace your failures.

Many of us have, at some point in our lives, sent out emails that we’ve checked and rechecked, only to realize that we misspelled something in the very first sentence. It happens! And it’s best not to beat yourself up over it.

The odds are that the recipient will show you grace just like you would when you spot a silly typo or your name getting misspelled in someone else’s email.

Acknowledging your mistakes, learning from them, and then aiming for excellence (here, and in other parts of your life) is much healthier than aiming for constant perfection and then beating yourself up for not reaching your own impossible standards.

According to Forbes, when sending business emails, you should provide information that is necessary, relevant, timely, and concise.

“How you use email will leave an impression with who you send your messages to, especially if you have yet to meet the recipient in person. Email acts as your first impression. This is especially true for job seekers. Using email inappropriately can put you on the ‘do not call’ list with recruiters and others in your network.”

Forbes suggests that, when writing business emails, you avoid using slang, ALL CAPS, and too many exclamation marks!

The latter is difficult to stop using! Exclamation marks can add a bit of levity!!! And they’re hard not to use when the person you’re emailing back and forth with adds them in! But overusing exclamation marks can backfire and make you seem overly enthusiastic or insincere!

Something else to avoid overusing are bold, underline, and italics for emphasis.

And, of course, try to use a professional, positive, and respectful tone in your business emails. Humor can be incredibly hard to get right in person. It can be even tougher to use properly via email. So, it’s best to avoid making too many quips, as they can be taken the wrong way or misinterpreted.

“Humor is subjective. What you might find hilarious, someone else might find incredibly offensive. Remember, email is void of tone, body language, or other non-verbal cues,” Forbes warns.

When it comes to job-hunting and post-interview etiquette, you should consider sending out three emails to make sure that your message gets across.

Your first email should include your resume and cover letter. If you don’t receive a response within a few days, send a brief follow-up email with your resume. Then, you should consider sending out a third email a week to ten days after your first message, this time, without any attachments, so you have a better chance of breaking through the company’s spam filters.

After your job interview, send a quick email thanking them for their time. “A few days later, follow up with a short one or two-sentence email. Ten days after your interview, send one more note thanking them again for their time and asking if they have any follow-up questions for you or need any additional information. If you don't receive a response to your third inquiry, it's a ‘no.’”

Once you’ve scrolled through the list and read all of these unhinged emails, don’t forget to upvote the ones that amused you the most.

After that, we’d like to turn the discussion over to you in the comments, Pandas! What is the weirdest and funniest email that you’ve ever received? What is the most bizarre thing you’ve ever sent someone via email? Tell your fellow readers all about it!