It’s finally time to make it “even Steven” after all these times we've looked at the wholesome couples, best friends, partners in crime, and whatnot messing around together under one roof and wondered what on earth we've done to deserve living alone. We all know how much easier it is to survive the autumn blues, breakups, hard days at work and whatever challenges life throws at you when you have a spare shoulder to cry onto. We know that, okay?
So when someone asked a much-anticipated question “What is a highly underrated advantage of living alone?” on r/AskReddit the loners who don’t share their postcode with anyone saw it as a perfect moment to celebrate just that. The answers started flooding in one by one, showing the joy of simple things like never having to wait for a bathroom and total control over heat and air conditioning.
I mean, you can freely talk to yourself out loud, forget manners and quit politeness, put the responsibilities aside and indulge in the sweetness of doing nothing... Isn't this basically the closest we’ll get to the ultimate freedom in a society where no one feels free anymore?
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Everything is your own mess. I don't want to clean up after someone, and I don't want to nag someone to clean. Those are all my dishes in the sink to do, or to let sit there for a week. Feels good.
Also, ripping a fart you feel super proud of with no shame or holding back.
Bored Panda spoke with Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again. Susan was happy to share some insights on the often overlooked perks of living alone and how we can all make the most of it.
“Sometimes it's really nice to be alone! You don't have to think about the needs of anyone else. You can go to bed whenever you want, and get up when you have to, without accommodating someone else's schedule,” Susan said.
She continued: “Don't want to eat healthy tonight? No problem! Want to have dinner at 11PM? No worries, there's no one else to answer to. You can eat what you like without having to worry about someone else's preferences. You can watch as much TV or play as many video games as you want. If you want to work until 3AM, you can—you don't have to worry about disturbing anyone else. Vacations can be wherever YOU want to go, doing what you want to do.”
There are a lot of advantages but my top is not having to deal with people and their damn problems
I’m an introvert so when I come home, I want to be by myself. Social situations are draining and I can only re-energize by having alone time. I am not antisocial, but I have hidden in my room for hours for my roommate to leave because I don’t want to answer 'How was your day?' for the millionth time
In fact, Susan describes living alone as “the ultimate in self-care.” She added that “you can plant whatever you want in the garden, take as many candle-lit baths as you want, and read whenever you want without worrying about the needs of someone else.”On the other hand, living alone has some practical downsides. “There is nobody to share the chores with. You and you alone are responsible for taking out the trash, cleaning the cat's litter pan, and walking the dog. If you get sick, there is nobody to help, no one to make you chicken soup.”
Total control over heat/air conditioning. Highly underrated. You can have control over your costs and/or your comfort.
Moreover, you're responsible for paying all the bills, argues Susan. “It's always easier with two incomes, and if you lose your job, it can be pretty scary. When you get home from work, there's nobody to share your day with, laugh with, and play with. Sure, you can take a friend on vacation with you, but it's just not the same.” The life coach added that one of the biggest joys in life is doing things for others. “When you live with someone else, you can experience that joy every single day!”
Dieting is like 400x easier. I know it's a bad excuse, but hear me out. When I'm dieting I won't buy a single junk food item, and I won't eat it since I won't have it. Live with someone who buys tons of junk, especially someone who buys food and doesn't expect you to not eat it, like your parents, and it makes it a lot harder.
Yeah I know it's a bad excuse for breaking diet but it's super easy for me to just never buy junk food and never have it around but it's hard for me to avoid it when I'm living with it
It's no wonder that living alone may get pretty lonely. Susan said that the best way to avoid loneliness is the MGP Method: Mindful, Grateful, Positive. She explained: “Mindful: Instead of regretting the past, or pinning your happiness on some future event (that may or may not happen!), focus on where you are in life right now. We spend 100% of our lives in 'now'! It's OK to reminisce about the past and make plans for the future, but enjoy those when it's appropriate to do them. Focus on what you're doing, sensing, feeling, and observing in this moment. Experience this moment. Be curious about it. Immerse yourself in it—whether or not the moment is good, bad, or indifferent.”
You can talk out loud to yourself (something I do often as I work from home) and nobody is around to think it's weird
When I lived alone I would clean my place and it would stay clean. Now I clean my place and it is messy again in about 10 minutes, it feels like.
“Grateful: If we're staying focused on this moment, right now, then it just makes sense to make it the best it can be, right? So, what's good about it? What can you be grateful for—no matter how small? Find wonder and awe for trees, rain, snow, and sunshine you see from your window; be amazed by the technology that makes our lives easier, like cell phones, TVs, and computers. Be grateful for the tiniest of 'wins' in your life, like when you remember to take out the trash, have enough money to pay the electric bill, or have enough food for dinner. Make your mantra, 'Something good about right now is...'”
“Positive: Instead of thinking, 'This stinks!' or, 'I really hate being alone,' or 'I'll never find someone to share my time with,' change the Negative Nancy talk in your head into something positive. Instead, think, 'I can watch anything I want on TV,' 'I love being able to eat whenever I want,' and 'Maybe I'll have someone in my life someday, but for now I'm going to enjoy my freedom!'”
You never have to watch terrible movies, wait to use the bathroom or take a shower, you can eat what you want, and you can decorate however you like.
So i've been living alone for the last couple of years and to be honest i feel like i want it to stay that way for the rest of my life for the following reasons:
I can make any food i like and if i feel lazy i can eat outside i don't have to answer to anyone or cater to anyone's needs
I just clean the house once per week and it stay squeaky clean for the rest of the week.
I can do whatever i want in my free time sometimes i want to go out and do something interesting other times i want to be a couch potato i do not have to cater to anyone's needs.
Budgeting becomes super easy i manage to save a lot of money and at the same time buy whatever i need.
I have a king size super comfy bed all for me if its too hot i can remove the covers, if it's too cold i can put on as much covers as i need no need to ask someone for their permission.
I can invite any of my friends anytime i want and we can do whatever we want anytime we want.
I work in a stressful career and nothing beats coming home to a nice quiet house and just relaxing and recovering from a stressful work day without having to answer silly questions like how was my day or having to listen to how another persons day went.
These are just a few reasons i thought of the top of my head i am sure i could have come up with more reasons but suffice to say that no matter how much i think about it when i compare my single days to the days i was in a relationship the single days always end up being much better.
Susan explained that it's not being alone that makes you lonely; it's what you tell yourself about it, how you perceive it, that makes you feel bad. “So, who wants to feel bad? Choose to change the way you view being alone. Focus on the benefits and the good parts. Focus on solving the problems that arise from being solo, instead of complaining about them.
Mindfulness + Gratitude + Positivity = Happiness,” the life coach concluded.
You can basically do whatever whenever without bothering anyone. When I lived with my parents if I showered after like 9pm, you'd think I'd been running around the house playing a keytar or something with how much they complained about the noise the next morning. Plus I don't wake up to anyone else's noise, either.
Sometimes if I wake up while dreaming and I'm super disoriented I think I'm back home and worry that I'm going to hear people walking around, slamming doors, yelling at each other, etc. at some point, then I remember that I'm in my own house, in my own bed, alone with my dogs so I can rest in peace. (Not dead, though, hopefully.)
I think I value living alone a lot more because I grew up with parents that thought screaming at each other every other night was the best way to work out their conflicts. Silence in my house is absolutely golden.
Learning life skills. Paying your bills, cleaning, time management, etc.. You just end up learning these based on experience.
For many years I lived in a full size (3br 2ba)family house all by myself. Freaking LOVED it. My brother lives with me now but that's still super cool. Really the best part is simply not having to deal with people.
Every second is yours. No waste. No waiting on someone else ever. No cleaning up after anyone else. No doing something someone else wants. It's incredibly efficient, unless you're dying.
Knowing exactly where everything is. There's no compromising. All my belongings are in the perfect place
Being able to come and go as you please. Doing stuff at any hour and not worrying.
I like to cook and clean during my productive hours (2-5am), and I like to shop at midnight when noone is about to bug me.
Now living with my husbands family I have to keep to their schedule of up at 8am and asleep at 11pm. I also listen to them argue all day every day, get yelled at in crossfire and have to take care of a three year old.
I much preferred being alone. I am only still here because I love my husband too much to leave, but this is year 5 now, it is rough...
Décor - one of the best things about having your own place.
Not having to answer to anyone inside those four walls.
Closet space, man. I never appreciated this until my girlfriend moved in. Now my closet is literally jammed packed with her clothes and I basically have a couple drawers for all of my stuff. There's no end to it either. Every time we do laundry, she materializes more and more clothing. I think to myself "the closet is completely full; all the hangers are used. We've put everything away. There's no way she could possibly have more clothes" more stuff just appears out of nowhere.
The whole house is your bed. Fall asleep on the couch. Turn over and pass out on the office futon. You might even want to make it to your actual bed if it's worth the effort... But no matter what, there's nothing forcing you to an arbitrary sleep station. I don't even know why I have a bedroom anymore, the couch is so much more comfortable.
The mundane way of living life with no responsibility to anyone else. I miss waking up in the mornings, reading a book and just watching the city light up from hundreds of miles away while eating breakfast. Then coming home, shaking off the day's work before making a light dinner, finishing a project and then cuddling in bed with a movie or book after a warm bath. Just to wake up the next day and repeat it. I love my life but I'm always busy with work and it has become unpredictable. I'm never alone. Sometimes I miss the solitude of a quiet home. Sometimes.
living alone is the best arrangement. You can do whatever the hell you want. The better question is what’s the advantage of living with someone.
You can be a total hedonistic layabout whenever you're home and no one will be there to make you feel sh*tty about it. Not that one should feel sh*tty about anything they choose to do with their off time, but it definitely bums me out when I'm having a nice lazy day of binge watching/eating/drinking and someone who's actually accomplishing things is anywhere in my vicinity.
Coming home and relaxing on the couch. Different with a spouse but I went from a single bedroom to a 4 bedroom. I would come home at midnight to 6 people drinking outside my bedroom door. Or I would be watching a movie and 5 people would walk in. Or I want to sit down and chill after a long day and theres my roommate in my house who wants to catch up.
Not getting stuck with a long-ass Netflix list you can't watch because she "wants to watch it, but don't want to watch it right now" So you end up re-watching sh*t you've already seen because it's a nice easy watch.
that last soda in the fridge is still there.,..and so is your left over chinese take out that you have to specially order because of a soy allergy you have...
You get to hang with the ghosts without someone making them go away cause they don't believe
Here are a few I can list off the top of my head... * Complete and utter quiet, solitude, and peace upon waking up * Everything is yours and you don't have to share anything, everything is the way you want it and nobody will ever complain - ever. * You get to watch whatever you want, play video games whenever you want, and nobody is going to bother you * You can talk out loud to yourself (something I do often as I work from home) and nobody is around to think it's weird * Get day drunk, eat pizza like a slob, and fall asleep on the couch and nobody gives you that "look" * Fart as loud as you want or take huge, gurgling diarrhea sh*ts with the door open because who gives a f*ck * Watch porn on your big 4K TV and masurbate right there in the living room - no need to keep it on your tiny phone, masturbating in dark corners like a shameful ninja * Take up the ENTIRE bed - it's all yours baby * Inviting anyone you want over, anytime you want, because nobody is there to tell you otherwise. F*ck it - have a party with a bunch of strippers. That's all I got for now.
Thank you for this, now I feel better about living alone. It sounds more like a privilege than just "being alone".
Thank you for this, now I feel better about living alone. It sounds more like a privilege than just "being alone".
