MYSTERIOUS: Funny dumb things kids do - What They Never Told You

Being a parent is certainly not easy, so it’s only fair that by bringing a tiny human into the world, moms and dads also receive a small comedian as a roommate. It is so easy to forget that for children, everything we have seen and understood for decades is brand new to them. We learn to accept how society works, even if we don’t fully understand or agree with every facet, so somewhere along the line we stop exercising so much curiosity. But kids want to understand the world. They love asking questions, and they assume that adults must know everything, so there is no such thing as a stupid question. 

Obviously, pages like “Look How Stupid These Kids Are” are all in good fun. Each and every one of us was once a “stupid kid” who had to learn everything that we now know. Nobody emerges from the womb being able to tell time or quote Shakespeare. (That would actually be quite scary...) At the same time, there is nothing wrong with finding humor and joy in all of the silly little things children do that they would find hilarious ten or fifteen years later.

We reached out to mom of two and co-host of The Juggling Act podcast, Melissa Wilson, to hear if she remembered any dumb things that she did as a kid. "I dropped a doll down the toilet when I was two, and went in after it," she told us. "My feet got stuck in the u-bend, and instead of my mum getting me out, she went and got the camera. That picture was on the back of our toilet door my whole childhood."

We also asked Melissa what the dumbest thing she has ever caught her kids doing was. "I caught my kids pulling chillies off the plant and rubbing them on their lips because they thought it was a lipstick. That was a fun half hour..."

Lastly, we asked Melissa why she thinks kids are so entertaining. She told us, "The innocence and brutal honesty that they approach life with often results in something funny being said or done. They are brilliant at saying the things adults think! They have no concept of consequences yet, which is so often where the LOLs happen (as long as no one loses a limb)."

If you'd like to hear more parenting stories and get some advice from moms who have been through it all, be sure to check out The Juggling Act podcast.

We all know that children do not simply wake up one day understanding logic and exercising critical thinking skills. Their development is a process that takes many years and involves various stages. According to Swiss psychologist and genetic epistemologist Jean Piaget, there are 4 main stages to a child’s cognitive development: the sensorimotor stage, the preoperational stage, concrete operational stage, and formal operational stage.

The sensorimotor stage is a child’s first stage of cognitive development and lasts from birth until they are two years old. This stage involves learning about the world through movements and sensations and through basic actions such as sucking, grasping, looking and listening, and understanding the concept of object permanence. Babies in this stage also start to realize that they are separate from the people and things around them and that their actions can affect the world around them. Babies or toddlers in this stage might not be doing or saying anything too stupid just yet, but don't worry. They'll get there soon.       

Between the ages of 2 and 7, children are in the preoperational stage of cognitive development. This is when they start to think symbolically and learn how to use words and images to represent objects. They start to get better at using language and thinking, but they usually only think in concrete terms. In this phase, they are still egocentric and have a hard time understanding anyone else’s perspective, but this is a time where kids experiment with “pretend play” and become more skilled at it. The older end of kids in the preoperational stage might be some of the most prone to doing and saying stupid things that might end up on this list. They are full of curiosity and have learned how to communicate well enough to express their thoughts, so while they can be surprisingly wise for their ages, dumb ideas can also come pouring out of them freely.

From ages 7 to 11, kids are in the concrete operational stage. This is when they start to think logically about concrete events and begin to understand the concept of conservation: “that the amount of liquid in a short, wide cup is equal to that in a tall, skinny glass, for example”. A child in this phase’s thinking becomes more logical and organized during this phase, and they can start using inductive logic, or “reasoning from specific information to a general principle”. During this time, kids start to imagine how someone else might be feeling or thinking, but they still have a hard time grasping abstract or hypothetical concepts. They understand that their thoughts are unique, though, so they become more curious about the opinions of others. Kids in this stage might understand a great deal, but they still have a long way to go before they are in the clear of stupidity.    

The final stage of a child’s cognitive development, when they might finally start doing and saying less stupid things, is the formal operational stage. This is from the age of 12 up, when kids start to think abstractly and learn how to reason hypothetical problems. During this time, kids also start to think more about moral, philosophical, ethical, social and political issues and begin to use deductive logic. They typically begin to do less and less stupid things as this phase goes on, but no one is in the clear. Teenagers are famous for having questionable judgment, so if you’re a parent, don’t think the idiocy has ended once they reach thirteen.   

To be fair to kids, I know plenty of adults who do stupid things regularly, including myself. We all have our dumb moments that we’re not proud of, but sometimes adults can get away with them if no one notices. Unfortunately since kids are under almost constant supervision, it is not so easy for them to forget to pack any underwear in their bag for a camping trip without anyone else realizing. Our brains are not fully developed until we’re 25, so we can’t blame the youth for being forgetful or not understanding how the world works. Think about how many adults don’t know how to ride a bike or swim. Plenty of kids probably think they are dumb too; it’s all just a matter of perspective.   

Adults love reliving all of the stupid things they did as kids or things their children have done. To celebrate all of these hilariously, humbling stories, the book Not Your Mother's Book . . . On Being a Stupid Kid was born. Featuring anecdotes from nearly 60 authors about "crazy capers, double-dog dares and those youthful escapades you never shared with your parents”, On Being a Stupid Kid has been loved by audiences for almost a decade now. 

Readers on Amazon have given the book rave reviews, with one woman saying that the book "takes you down memory lane with stories that we can all relate to". "With the contributors of this book being based in America I was surprised at how kids worldwide are all the same," she wrote. "Pranks may differ slightly due to the climate and resources available but one thing is for sure... All kids do things that are really stupid!”

Another fan of On Being A Stupid Kid wrote in her review that the book is, “One of the best books in a series I have ever read and so funny you will pee your pants laughing. You can travel with those children ‘authors’ whose penchant for stupid antics leaves them in icy water, a Back Yard Armageddon of fire crackers and blowing up toy soldiers, Truth or Consequences in a tampon gone AWOL in a water skiing venture, Rollercoaster Bra that hinges somewhere not intended to a Night of Crime in tipping over an outhouse. It doesn't stop there, school fights in First Grade Olive Branch (written by me and very proud to be included in this anthology), Doughnut Snitch ... you name it, it is in this book. Each and every one of these stories will touch your heart and make you reflect on your own precious memories. It isn't a mamby-pamby hide your head in shame book or cover it up under the sheet and use a flashlight in secret but one that is real, down-to-earth with true life happenings. You know, those stories you never told your parents! It's universal, these stupid kids…”

Sometimes kids themselves are not dumb, but they lack the forethought to make smart decisions. Or they want to learn lessons from experience. It is not enough for mom to tell me that if I bounce a basketball inside I might break something. I don’t believe her. So let’s just see what happens– oh! How did that vase get broken? When it comes to older kids, peer pressure is also a relevant factor in how likely teens are to do stupid things or take stupid risks. In fact, a study by researchers at Temple University found that teens are much more likely to take risks when peers are watching. Unfortunately, the older they become, the better kids get at hiding these stupid decisions from adults, but they usually come to light. Then you can mock your child for the next ten years about hitting the mailbox with your car or leaving their windows rolled down during a thunderstorm.   

Sadly, children have to grow up and will not continue to do and say stupid things forever. (Well, some of them might, but let's hope that they don't...) If you are a parent or you have friends with kids, cherish those hilariously dumb moments while they last. And while you're at it, feel free to share them on the internet, so the rest of us can laugh at them too. Be sure to upvote your favorite posts, and let us know in the comments if you remember any particularly dumb things you did as a child.