EXPLAINED: Not like the other girls posts | Vintage Vibes

Of all of the things that diminish the quality of interpersonal relationships, few, if any, are as damaging as arrogance.

To be arrogant is to appropriate for yourself, presumptuously; to claim without right and to be overly convinced of your own importance.

One of the unfortunate consequences of arrogance is that people who have this trait often have no awareness of it and when confronted by feedback that suggests that they may be grabbing more ground than they are entitled to, often become highly defensive and even combative, which ironically demonstrates that they probably are.

So in an attempt to learn how to deal with these people, let's take a look at what the before mentioned doctor of psychology, Andrea Polard, suggests doing to stay calm and collected while still standing strong and confidently against arrogance in your life.

"Be compassionate, but don't try to fix the person," Polard wrote. "The need for superiority is deeply rooted and ranges from low self-esteem to an unquenchable thirst for praise to a lack of empathy for those who are or appear to be less accomplished. Only the arrogant person can confront such a problem with sustained effort. On the other hand, and as always, it brings peace to your heart and potentially to the situation if you can have compassion for the unhappiness of others."

Next, accept the fact that the other indeed feels superior. Try to realize that there is nothing you can do in the future or have done in the past to make them arrogant.

"He or she suffers from a problem that goes far beyond you. Most importantly, understand that accepting feelings of superiority in another person does not mean that you must feel inferior in turn. Look at it as a game that you can refuse to play."

"Communicate directly," Polard added. "Sometimes it is advisable to tell the other person how she/he came across. It is good to remind an arrogant person that no one knows that much, considering life’s mysteries, and that no one can claim absolute truth. As long as it does not harm you later, do not suppress yourself."

You can use disarming sentences such as, "Forgive me for interrupting, but...", or "Maybe you did not mean to sound arrogant/hurt my feelings/come across as if you are 100 percent right, but..."

If arrogance is an aberration, you can also ask if anything negative happened to them that day.

"Involve a mediator or a greater number of people," Polard said. "Sometimes direct communication backfires, which is why you might want to include a third party to help diffuse the situation."

"Without being vindictive, stand up for yourself under the guidance of someone else. Seek the support you need. Sometimes you might have to find allies and stand together against a particularly harmful arrogant person or persons."

You can also reduce the harm by setting limits. "We cannot always choose with whom we work and must deal with, but we can set limits," the psychologist highlighted.

"Before meeting with an arrogant person, decide how much time you will spend together and what subjects you will or will not speak about. Be disciplined and resist biting any hooks that would prolong the allotted time or cover more territory. If you cannot keep your distance despite great effort, maybe it is time to plan to sever the ties. Nobody should remain silent and endure abuse, whether in a personal or professional relationship."

The important thing to remember is to stay mindful. Whatever you decide to do, attempt it deliberately, thoughtfully, and with as much love as possible.

"Arrogant people cause others to lose their temper and become their worst self. Observe your reactions with self-compassion and your long-term interest in mind. Play the game of your life instead of trying to fit into someone else's," Polard said.

So always stay true to yourself and... don't forget to shame them on r/NotLikeTheOtherGirls.