#1
We started a half hour late because the groom and his groomsmen had to take off their jackets and wrangle the cow back into the pen. My wife and I still quote "Daddy, the cow got out!" to one another any time we're at an event that starts late with no explanation.
Who needs movies when you can get live action and drama for free at a wedding? It makes one wonder why so many couples are willing to fork out tens of thousands of hard-earned dollars knowing full-well there’s a big risk that things will go south.
As Glamour so aptly put it: “Wondering how to avoid family drama on your wedding day is like asking how to avoid ever getting rained on or how to grow taller—it's just one of those things that's a universal impossibility.”
But as we’ve seen (and read) far too many times, the drama isn’t always confined to family only. Fortunately, according to experts, there are certain signs that warn you’re in for a wild wedding ride. As there are triggers that are often bound to kick things off. And this means there might be ways to avoid (some of) the chaos.
#2
#3
Yes people that bride was me.
We already know that alcohol can throw a spanner in the works, especially since it relaxes people's inhibitions and pushes them to let loose. You could play it super safe, and have a booze-free big day in an attempt to avoid drunken drama, or you could just consider limiting the alcohol flow.
“There are plenty of ways you can do this that also happen to come with cost savings: Skip cocktail hour, limit the amount of time the bar is open during the reception, or consider going with beer and wine only,” suggests the Wedding Spot Blog.
#4
#5
Dear reader, everyone was looking around trying to figure out who was invited. Slowly but surely, some people left and had shame in their eyes because they didn't know others were excluded. Tacky!!
#6
You could also opt to give your guests drink tokens. “While it’s nice to offer a free bar to your guests, some people may take advantage by having far more to drink than other guests,” notes the Wedding Invites site, adding that drink tokens can help to keep things tidy.
“These are small tokens like raffle tickets that you hand out to each guest. When the guest wants a drink, they hand the bartender one of the tickets, which the staff behind the bar are supposed to keep," it explains. "Once the guest has run out of tickets, they can’t get any more free drinks. This makes it harder for certain guests to drink themselves to oblivion. "
However, they advise that if you plan on using these tokens, you should inform your venue in advance.
#7
No surprise he’s no contact with her now.
#8
#9
It’s okay—she’d talked to her fiancée beforehand and told him she didn’t want to deal with wedding planning and wanted to just get surprised with a wedding at some point. She was really happy when she realized what was happening, and I believe they’re still together.
Still pretty crazy, though, seeing her come in and see all her friends and family and preferred wedding photographer (me) and figure out what was happening.
If you’ve taken the necessary steps, and are still faced with a drunk guest, experts suggest talking to them tactfully, and trying to encourage them to limit their drinks (or stop drinking altogether). This might only work if the person isn't drunk enough to make a scene, but you feel they might be getting there.
"Identify somebody who they know, e.g. their plus-one, and encourage them to take the guest back to their room/home," adds the Wedding Invites team. They also advise speak to the venue staff and/or security if the guest is getting aggressive, rowdy, belligerent, etc.
"Don’t let them ruin your night," the site notes. "Ask the venue staff to encourage them home, or security, if you hired any."
#10
#11
I haven't forgiven her since.
#12
But sometimes, regardless of the amount of alcohol available, chaos and drama will still rear their ugly heads. And often, the bigger the crowd, the bigger the risk there is of things taking a wild turn. That's why the Wedding Spot's experts suggest keeping your guest list as small as possible.
"The less people you have at the wedding, the less likely you’ll have wedding drama. The more people you invite, the more likely someone will have a problem with another guest," they explain. "Having a long guest list can also make some feel left out. Shorter guest lists allow everyone to be part of your wedding day experience equally."
#13
#14
#15
Other experts agree that some drama can be prevented before it starts.
"You may be able to identify particularly dramatic guests on your guest list from their reputation alone," notes the Wedding Invites team, adding that you have a few options available in the case of "flagged" guests.
An obvious one is not to invite them at all. If that isn't an option, you could try talking to them. "If you feel brave enough, confront them in advance," says the team. "Remind them that your wedding day should be yours alone, and that if they want to pick fights or cause a scene, they can do it on their own time and at their own expense!"
#16
And that’s the story of why I associate lesbian weddings with the song “Gasolina” by Daddy Yankee.
#17
#18
The groomsman was me.
It's also wise to seat "problem" guests safely. For example, put them at a table of grannies who you know they won't cause trouble with. As the Wedding Spot Blog notes, a seating chart can become your best friend in the case of long-standing guest or family feuds.
"Keep any problematic parties seated as far away as possible from each other as possible," warn the experts. "Limiting their interactions with one another and distracting them with people they enjoy is one of the best prevention tools you have in your arsenal."
#19
#20
Anyway I’m walking fine now after surgery, 6 weeks in a cast and 4 months of physical therapy.
